"Hey, this is Marshall. I'm not here right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. And if this is Lily, I love you and miss you!"

BEEP!

Marshall wasn't usually one for fruit for breakfast (unless it was with ice cream) but, damn, the peaches he got were delicious. Like, the best peaches ever. For serious. If he was Mormon he'd marry one. He thought Lily would be okay with that.

"You could really make a whole meal...where the hell is that music coming from?"

( Of COURSE Marshall would sing about his food )

Marshall stopped singing and dancing abruptly and looked at the peach he was holding. "Baby, I think there's something awesome happening with the fruit!"

[Establishy unless the wife wants to ping in]

Week One: Swimming: The obvious thing to do when there's water around
Week Two: Sandcastles in the sand
Week Three: Volleyball: Try not to break your wrists
Week Four: Flying Kites: Please don't sing that song
Week Five: Chicken: AKA Smack your classmates across the head for funsies
Week Six: Tanning: I'm not responsible for any sunburn
Week Seven: Free day: Because I hate finals

Your shirtless TA's: Jess Mariano and Romeo Montague

Hello! IIIII am looking for a TA or two for Marshall's beach play class. Preferably someone who doesn't mind being outside and can swim because...really. Also, should look good with their shirt off Unless I'm unavoidably detained, Marshall will be using you an example when explaining games. Then you get to play!

Comments are screened!

Annnnnnd the RNG has spoken.

There were zombies outside! Zombies! His T.A. was a member of the undead!

Marshall didn't even know how he made it into work today. Zombies were a good excuse to call in for a sick day, why oh why didn't he take it? Luckily he had that baseball bat and Evelyn to help protect him as he ran screaming walked calmly to the school.

Since he was already here, he figured he'd do some work. Work which consisted of looking at his student roster and deciding who should take Francine's place as T.A. No time to mourn when finals were coming up. Francine would have wanted it that way. Marshall was sure of it.

[I don't even know. Door's closed but the post is open!]

Marshall kind of missed his Aretha hat.

Which would be why he was wearing the Dr. Suess one today. It was almost as fierce.

It looked sort of ridiculous wearing such a cheerful hat when he was busy frowning over Rumor Gal spoilers online. And what the hell is this spin-off? No one cares about the old people on the show, even if it is set in the 80's when they were young. It's all about Charlie and Claire!

Marshall should probably watch less TV and get out more.

[Open door, open post but there will be SP while I'm in class until about 2:30]

Sometimes in life you see something so beautiful that the clouds open up and bright sunshine streams into your office. Sometimes you see something so amazingly gorgeous that Journey's "Open Arms" starts playing out of nowhere. Sometimes that something makes you well up with tears even though your office door is open and anybody can just walk by.

For Marshall, that thing was the Bacon Explosion.

"Oh god, Evelyn. It's so beautiful," Marshall said breathlessly. He held up the cockamouse so he could see the picture on the computer screen. "My life was like a moonless night before this came into my life."

[Mmmmmmmmmmmmm bacon explosion. The door and post is open. SP while I'm in class!]

Marshall was having a weird birthday so far.

First he got a call from Ronon asking for pot. And then after calling him back, Marshall got a weird message from Fraser regarding underwear. After calling Fraser back, he got a really weird-ass message from either Dean or Priestly. Oh well. It gave Marshall a chance to ask the important questions. Marshall debated turning off his phone. But, no, then he might miss birthday wishes.

"That underwear message is going to haunt me for life," Marshall decided.

[Mostly establishy but open for the wife or anybody who wants to talk to the birthday boy on purpose]

Yep, Marshall was still spending his office hours watching Rumor Gal with Evelyn. He was on season two now.

"Goddammit, Charlie!" Marshall threw a handful of Skittles at the TV screen. "Just tell Claire you love her!"

The door was closed but only because Marshall had been forced to come to work wearing the camouflage-print pants that Lily hated and one of Ted's shirts that had ended up mixed in with his stuff. The shirt made it look like he had man-boobs.

[Door is closed, post is open]

With the exception of warning the lunch ladies (chickens?) of what foods he needed for his next lesson, Marshall didn't really need to make lesson plans. So he decided to use his office hours to catch up on teen soaps that he was too embarrassed to watch when Barney lived in town and could walk in on him at any moment.

He had a pile of cheetos on his desk and both he and Evelyn were munching their way through them while watching the first season of Rumor Gal.

"Baby J should have never cut her hair in season two," Marshall told Evelyn. "She looks so much cuter here."

[Door is closed but the post is open]

Marshall was spending his Saturday morning sleeping. It was a nice sleep. That is, until he felt someone poking him in the arm repeatedly.

"The milk's gone bad, Ted," Marshall mumbled.

"Oh that's okay, dude, I'll drink it anyway," the guy who wasn't Ted said.

Marshall cracked opened a eye. That wasn't Ted. "AAAAH!"

And that was Marshall falling out of bed.

[For myself. And the wife if she wants!]

Marshall was spending his office hours looking at funny videos on youtube. Fat kids tripping over stuff was always funny.

[Open!]

Marshall was spending his office hours alternating between feeding the cockamouse and making a name tag to put on it's cage. Yes, after much deliberation he had decided the name of his cockamouse. He named it after Ted. Sort of.

"You want another orange, Evelyn?" Marshall asked.

Yes. The cockamouse's name was Evelyn. Evelyn Swarley Eriksen. It was a beautiful name in Marshall's opinion.

[Door and post are open. Except some slowplay while I see Batman in the afternoon. The movie. I'm not actually meeting up with Batman somewhere. OR AM I?]

Marshall had laid out a trap for the cockamouse last night. It involved a cage, a stick and a handful of cheetos. Not the most high-tech of traps but Marshall figured if it could work for weirdos who lived in the backwoods of Canada then it could work for him.

He was at his desk doing work when he heard a loud snap and then a rustling noise. Marshall stood up from his chair. There in the trap eating the cheetos was the cockamouse. "Oh. My. God."

"I GOT IT! I GOT IT!" Marshall bounced up and down with glee. "IIIIIIIII GOT IT!"

[Open! I'll be AFK for a couple of hours later because I'm going to the mall. And, yes, I've been singing the song all morning]

Marshall was at his desk, trying to write up lesson plans for his new class. He knew how to be in a good relationship but it was harder to write out how to do it. He needed brain candy. He opened up his desk drawer to grab some Twizzlers.

Instead of grabbing handful of delicious licorice he grabbed part mouse and part cockroach. Marshall’s hand flew out of the drawer and he let out a high pitched scream.

“COCKAMOUSE!” Marshall fell out of his chair and ran out of his office and closed the door behind him. He held on to the doorknob to keep the rodent-insect from escaping. The thing could fly, why couldn’t it open doors? “YOU CAN HAVE THE TWIZZLERS, JUST LET ME LIVE!”

[Hi, yes, there’s a cockamouse in the office. It’s going to escape this time but feel free to ask Marshall what the hell is going on. Don’t worry, it’ll be caught eventually. Marshall’s always wanted a pet]

Marshall had forgotten to hold office hours last week so he made sure he held them this week. He was sitting at his desk seemingly not doing much of anything. Well, except for bobbing his head. He still had club music pounding in there from yesterday's class.

[Door and post are open]

Marshall was in his office, playing an excellent game of wastebasketball using the old quizzes from the first day of class. He had more productive things he was supposed to do; he had promised Lily he'd go to the local art galleries here in France and take pictures. But somehow this seemed more fun. He'd get around to doing it after Team Marshmallow won the wastebasketball championship.

[Door and post are open]

Marshall was in his office making a powerpoint for his next class. He was trying to restrain himself from using too many goofy noises. The elephant trumpeting between every slide was as far as he was going to go. And, okay, maybe he would throw in a dog barking somewhere. But that was it. Really.

[Door and post are open yo]

Marshall was working on something important. Very important. He had Ted on speakerphone and both were singing to The Proclaimers. Just because the Fiero wasn't around anymore it didn't mean they could let their skills get dull.

"...To fall down at your dooooOOOOOOoooooorrrr!" Marshall said, using his finger to map out the pitch in the air. "Man, dude, that was a good one."

"Yeah," said Ted over speaker phone. "Yeah, I could really feel it that time."

"I miss the Fiero."

"Me too."

[Door and post are open]

College Roster: Summer Semester I

Atkins, Amber
Halliwell, Chris
Mizuno, Ami
Montague, Romeo
Ned
Next, Friday
Roberts, Summer
Scott, Lucas
Winchester, Sam